In Memoria, Oct 31 1975-Sep 4 2006

After a month of optimism and hopeful recovery, I got the news on Sunday. I was at a pool party when I found out. "Mike's gone from us," the text message said. Simple to the point, burned into the screen of my cellphone. The release of all the hope I was holding inside for him evaporated. The world of the pool party fogged, became insubstantial. A dark haze covered everything with one focus - to get out of the house to a solid place. Thankful for James to be there. I was toughing it out.

The monsoon was coming in - yellow-black clouds rolling over the city throwing haphazard lightning into the sky. We were driving to find a good overlook to watch. Then James busts out with "well you know I could die in a wreck on the way back to Tucson tomorrow." And then the thought of losing another friend broke through the thin skimcoat of cement I was trying to build around my emotions. It was probably the best/worst thing anyone could say to me. I pulled the car over and yelled at him for saying something like that. Then my anger transitioned into borrowing his shoulder for a few.

Very cathartic. Thanks for that, James. I felt clean, clearheaded and solid in the world again.

As a good friend of mine said about Mike, "what matters is not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog..." (well said Steve)

Mike's funeral is today and I wish I could go but I have to be with my unit for a training weekend. I am still so floored that someone so young, tough and full of life is gone. All my best wishes go out to Mike's family and friends. May he rest in peace.